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Funny Anniversary Poems

Funny anniversary poems are great to lighten a speech at a party or family gathering and they can add fun to your card.

Or if you are a fun loving couple maybe think of adding one of these funny poems to your invitations! Everyone will know that they are in for a great party.

Just live and be happy!

by Elena Melkumova
(Krasnodar, Russia)

The Anniversary - what does it mean?
Is it a fine and wonderful thing?
Is it a time to review and think
What you have done and, sometimes, to sink…

Please send it to hell…
Don’t be so sappy!
Don’t hassle yourself
And just live and be happy!

The Demise...

I still have my card, from our very first one, so loving, so warm and so nice
Then 9 years on, oh where has that gone?! I think this details our demise...

The poem it said, from my toes to my head, I was perfect in every way.
Then the one from this year, I cause pain in your ear and that I've also made you go grey.

That first one was red with a beautiful heart, across the whole front of the card.
This one was black, a sad face on the back, and it smelled quite distinctly of lard.

Nine years you see is a very long time, and lots has happened as well.
I've watched him get fat and be mean to my cat, and he's watched my bits sag and swell!

But after all that and all joking aside, Happy Anniversary my old ugly beau.
It's been a good hoot, and you've got lots of loot
So I'll hang on 'til you finally go!

Good Times

by Ebony Davis
(Meridian, Mississippi)

Remember our first date
When it rained all night long
I didn't have an umbrella
To protect you from the storm
You laughed and said it was okay
But I was embarrassed inside
And though I was a man
I closed my eyes and cried
Oh! Such good times!
And you came over to my place
I pulled out your chair and let you sit
But when I began to sit dowm myself
The chair broke and on the floor I went
You didn't laugh but I knew you wanted to
And again I was embarrassed
I thought that cupid was out for me
Out for me harrassing
But again you said that it was okay
And I knew right then you where my wife
And with you forever is what I wanted
With you I wanted to live and die
And today we sit here
With wrinkles and in odor
Laughing and joking
With bedpans on the counters
Oh! What good tmes we had
When we where young and I was dumb
You stood by me through it all
The good times we had plus some
I Love You!!!
And as the youngins say: Happy Anniversay Boo!!!

The Golden Years

by Emily
(England)

We met each other in a bar,
Your handsome smile and funny charm,
Made me believe you were the one,
We bought some drinks and had some fun,
But I still wonder: was I right?
Going with you on that happy night?
I'll never know but what is clear
My one true love is always here

I stand by my decision that day
And hope that you may think the same
Old and crinkly we may be
We're still united for eternity.

The Twelfth Year Revenge

by Simon Ayres
(Romford, Essex)

On the first anniversary my true love gave to me
A paper back book that he got for free
On the second anniversary my true love gave to me
Some candy cotton for my special tea
On the third anniversary my true love gave to me
A leather patch to sow on his trouser knee
On the fourth anniversary my true love gave to me
A second hand linen hankie
On the fifth anniversary my true love gave to me
A piece of wood from next-door?s tree
On the sixth anniversary my true love gave to me
A steam iron and a clothes horse tree
On the seventh anniversary my true love gave to me
Some copper in the shape of a penny
On the eighth anniversary my true love gave to me
A bronze medal for being the third wife for him to marry
On the ninth anniversary my true love gave to me
A broken plate he called pottery
On the tenth anniversary my true love gave to me
A tin of baked beans that was empty
On the eleventh anniversary my true love gave to me
A steel rod to unblock the lavatory
On the twelfth anniversary my true love got from me
Divorce papers with my settlement fee!

Silly, Silly, Wine and Willy

by Amanda
(France)

Dresses were bought,
Prices were silly,
This is not how I was taught!

But, Oh, how wonderful it will be!
I thought and thought,
with endless glee

Will he open wine we just bought?
Or go down on one knee?
Perhaps he forgot

No, no, silly me!
He must be out,
buying me a daisy

Yes, he is always distraught,
striving to be right for me,
little did I know, he forgot
our anniversary!

Pot Noodles and Treacle Pudding

by Rachel Stephenson
(England)

Our hope is everlasting.
My treasured love for you.
Together we'll stay forever
the wonders we could do.

Like a treacle coated pudding
I'll stick right by your side.
And when you finally eat me up
in weight-watchers may you confide.

You now have a guide dog
and me a hearing aid.
And when we've lost our glasses
we'll feed the dog some marmalade.

On walks I'm always out of breath
and thanks to my back I'm a cripple.
And although you need three walking sticks,
compared, your as fit as a fiddle.

Your hair's a sort of greyish color
while mine's a snowy white.
"Dear!" You call. "Tea's on the table.
It's pot noodles again tonight."

Our First Date

by Natasha
(England)

It was completely sublime
The very first time
That I layed my eyes on you

Our first night together
I wished went on forever
And it was then that I first knew

That you were a guy
As lovely as pie
With a heart as pure as gold

So sincere and sweet
Not a liar or cheat
With a safe and comforting hold

We went to the flicks
Got a big pick’n’mix
Then sat, and watched "Year one"

The movie was awful
It shouldn’t have been lawful
So we chatted and had lots of fun

When the movie had finished
Our fullness diminished
So we picked up a burger and fries

Then we sat on a hill
In the late summer chill
And just gazed at the stars in the skies

The hours went by
We talked til the nigh
I swear it was love at first sight

This constant warm feeling
Lay with me the whole evening
Me and you just felt so right

Our feet were so sore
Once we had reached the door
Of the run-down shack, I call home

You held me so tight
And kissed be goodnight
You left, and I suddenly felt alone

I cannot believe
That, that great summers eve
Was 40 long years ago

In those 40 long years
We’ve had love, joy and tears
And there is one thing I definitely know

That from our very first date
You were my soul mate
You always have been my guy

Our love is perpetual
We are so inseparable
And I’ll stick by you until we die

New! Gift Ideas

What anniversary gift are you planning? We would love to hear!
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